February is FLYING by-WOW!! Finally feeling adjusted back to Gainesville life after time at home and abroad! Man is it sweet to be back. The community here is GOOD ya’ll. I’m pretty sure I know the greatest people on the planet? It’s up for discussion. But I think the most exciting thing of this month is THE WINTER OLYMPICS!!!!!! I am OBSESSED! Whether it’s their work ethic, incredible athleticism or just knowing I could NEVER go 70 mph down a black diamond slope-I’m slightly addicted (Example A: when I watched women’s hockey which I know nothing about until 2 am). It has been a definite highlight (seriously considering going to volunteer-yea it’s a thing- in the 2020 Olympics in Japan-join me!). Anywaysssss- spiritual life. What’s new. What’s good. SO MUCH! First off- praise our Father who continues to teach us about His character. I am so thankful for that. It’s a life of learning. Because we humans forget. But our Father knows us and I am continually amazed at all that He is showing me through the Word, the church and His creation. Praise God! This month has been a WAR between truth and lies. With lies seeming to get the upper hand way to often. It is an oddity being aware of Spiritual warfare and seemingly being “stuck” between flesh self and the truth of the redeeming gospel. It is enough to make you crazy. My thought life has run rampant this month. It’s like I can’t take in enough biblical truth/scripture to outweigh the other thoughts. It goes a little like this (bout to get PERSONAL-bear with me) “Wow I really don’t like how my body looks right now. I don’t get it. I’m working out way more this semester. I’m trying to get more sleep. I eat pretty well. What’s wrong with me?” “So if you’re going to fail your physics test after studying for days than you’re really just not smart. Because who spends hours working on something and then still fails? That doesn’t add up. What’s wrong with me?” “If my grades aren’t better this semester there is no way I am going to PT school here. It’s 70/1000. Grades other than A’s don’t cut it. What’s wrong with me?” “It’s ok that you’re single now. But what about in five years. When all your friends are married. Is it still ok? What’s wrong with me?” And all the questioning. It’s from the enemy. And man does it work to ATTACK our identity. We can see this pattern of Satan going all the way back to the garden. He is not original. He is not a creator. He does not speak truth. He is a deceiver, a liar, and a QUESTIONER. He first ASKED Eve “Did God really say ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” And then Eve answered with God’s words. And then the Serpent gave Eve the wrong answer, saying “You will not certainly die”. And just like that Eve is entangled in deceit and commits the first sin against our Father, as she ate from the forbidden fruit. And church how similar is this to our daily struggles? I KNOW it’s similar to mine. To my fears, doubts, and insecurities. To the whispers that QUESTION my very identity in Jesus Christ. So what changes? How do we quiet the lies? How do we combat this in DAILY warfare? ”Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes….and put on the sword of the Spirt, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:11,17 Remember that armor we are commanded to put on. Yea, friends- that’s where things change. And with words of deceit-we combat those with words of truth- the Sword itself. A sweet friend of mine shared an image at Bible Study a month ago and man has it wrecked me. But man has it stuck with me. I think it relates oh so well with understanding the battle we’re up against and how we let lies flood in. Here it goes. Jesus and you. At a table. It’s intimate. It’s a meal for the two of you. He’s at one end. You’re at the other. There’s a fire going. And man does Jesus love you. And as you sit there He is there affirming you. Speaking truth over you. It’s beautiful. But then someone knocks at the door. And you being the people person you are let them in. Surely Jesus won’t mind them coming to your dinner. They pull up a chair. And they also begin talking to you. Affirming you. Telling you stories. Dividing your attention from Jesus, whom your dinner was with. Jesus hasn’t stopped talking. But it is a little harder to hear. To pay attention. And the knocks keep coming. The chairs keep coming. Eventually a loud roar of voices are coming at you. All with affirmations. All with their own “truth”. Jesus remains at the end. At this point His words can’t be heard. But He hasn’t stopped talking. After hours and hours, you make eye contact with Jesus. You set your eyes on him. Focus on him and hear him say- “Jessica- this dinner is for me and you. These “people” need to go. I am first. I am jealous for you. I died for you. I love you. The chairs- they must be burned. Not just moved away. Not the “people” kicked out of them for someone else to fill the spot. No, they must be burned.” And as the chairs are thrown in the fire, the noise dwindles. And once again you can hear the voice of your Savior speaking LIFE over you. No longer the confusion, no longer the false truths. No longer the fleeting good things. Just Jesus- with His perfect, absolute, truth. WOW RIGHT?!?! So what things are at my table? PEOPLE- lots and lots of people. Performance (in crossfit, in school, in the little every day things). My future (grad school, marriage, summer plans). Man ya’ll there are a lot of chairs at my table. But let me be clear- these aren’t bad things in my chairs (come on a 7 am workout is just what your body craves). BUT because I’m seeking them for affirmation and validation-that’s when they’re dangerous. That’s when they question me and that’s when I sin. And how like it of Satan’s character to take GOOD things and have them question us. So bringing it all back.. friends where are we getting our VALIDATION from? What are we letting AFFIRM us? Who are we letting tell us who we are? Who is defining our IDENTITY? Who are we letting join us at the table meant for Jesus? What voices are we letting drown out our Savior’s? Friends let’s burn some chairs. And hear the words of the very one who knitted us together in our mother’s womb define us, affirm us and fill us.
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Happy New Year friends! 2018- WOWZA! Sounds so futuristic. I love the start of the year. It is always so exciting to enter a New Year as it is full of reflection and sentiment but also goal setting and dream casting. This New Year was especially thrilling as I celebrated across the world in Dubai, UAE watching fireworks on a roof top hours ahead of everyone back in the states. It was a ten day trip that was every bit adventurous and exciting as I trekked through London and Dubai with some of my closest college friends. Once in a lifetime for sure. Prior to the trip spending really cherished time with friends and family. I truly hope everyone’s Christmas season was restful and Christ focused and that 2018 has already been great.
Now I am BACK IN GVILLE for Junior year’s Spring Semester. WHOOP WHOOP (as I type this I hear my mother’s voice screaming this-ask her about the title of her autobiography). As my body hates me a little (I woke up wide away at 6 this morning) and I adjust back to the good ole USA/Gainesville life/friend catch ups/school (what is school?!?) I can’t help but be floored at the Lord’s clarity in reminding me of the beauty of the gospel already. Here it goes: So as some of you may know, last spring (wow it’s been a year) I made big girl moves and bought a scooter. I deem it a “big girl move” because although my parents said I could it wasn’t their most thrilling idea (I mean I’m sure it was influenced by the fact my Dad got in a motorcycle accident in college- but hey that’s how he met my mom so it all worked out). On top of that scooters are expensive. I still am a college student ballin’ on a budget. BUT public transportation (I am a huge fan of and was very grateful for it the previous fall) was just not cutting it. I desired more freedom then being bound to the bus schedule (sometimes early, sometimes late) and on top of that you already know about my thing with efficiency. Sometimes (most times) the bus was just not the most efficient thing for this super busy college girl. So this all to say- I did it. On my own. Researched it. Paid for it. And drove off into the sunset. And all was well. Until the battery died. Or I had to get a new license plate. Or needed an oil change. Charles, as I call my 150 Sport Orange mildly scratched up scooter, has not always been the most reliant little scooter. BUT I love him still and it has been a journey. And that couldn’t be more true when right before winter break he died and I reluctantly called the mechanic to come get Charles and once again fix the who knows what problem. Frustrated to say the least. Fast forward to yesterday. Had a chance to go pick Charles up. The mechanic had told me over the phone it just needed a new battery. Not a big deal. By the time I got there I was rushed for time because of a class I had. So I pulled out my credit card before I even walked in. My mechanic is great but he likes to talk A LOT. So I had a game plan to walk in, card in hand, ask to pay and head out. I had a goal of under 5 minutes. Well I couldn’t have sooner asked to pay then the next thing you know I’m instead staring at Charles and listening to every detail of a scooter’s battery. So much for five minutes. As my patience was disappearing the next words from my mechanic just floored me. I also preface this with saying I was in no way excited to pay who knows how much for this repair. I don’t work while in school and had just paid for Christmas presents as well as a trip to Dubai. The budgeting was about to come in strong. Until “yea so technically you stored your scooter here for a month. That’s fifty dollars. And a new battery… plus service fee… but yea I’m just not going to charge you. I really should but I’m just not”. He handed me the key and said-“yea let me know if you need anything else this semester” and walked back into the shop. I am 100% sure if it weren’t for the running time clock going in my head I would still be standing in that garage in shock. Here I was with a debt to be paid- one I knew I owed- and it was so kindly, graciously, lovingly cleared. Not because I deserved it. Not because I even asked for it. But because the mechanic had grace on my college, lack of scooter knowledge self and said “you know what today, today you don’t have to pay”. You can bet the tears were flowing all the way to class. And here’s the thing ya’ll. Is that not an earthly manifestation of the purest form of the gospel? That we, as sinners, we are in debt! We deserved to pay. Heck- I won’t speak for ya’ll but I KNOW I deserved to pay. For my pride. My selfishness. My deceit. My slander. My lack of faith. My gossip. Oh my sins- they are many. YET- our Savior did not count them against me but instead LAVISHED His love upon me. He paid for them all- every last one on that cross. He died the most awful death as God perfected in man and said “It is finished”. Not to remain in the grave but to later, in three days, claim VICTORY over death. To bridge the gap so we may freely live this life in complete assurance of our eternity. In complete assurance of our salvation. In complete assurance of our identity in Christ. Oh how sweet a love. Oh how sweet a cross. This verse in 1 Peter comes to mind: “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:24 And so friends. As the giddiness of the Christmas season wears off. As the New year’s resolutions begin to fail. As the work picks back up. As the family problems and issues arise. As the year gets tough. As the year is sweet and full. May we remember. May we reflect on the “thing”. Not on the circumstance, the person, the situation, the emotion. But the thing itself. The thing being Jesus- our Lord and Savior. And may we remember the gospel. That we can grasp deeper and understand more the debt we owed and the debt that was paid. May we all have a Charles the scooter experience in 2018. May God remind us of the beauty of the gospel daily- in fresh, new, tangible ways. Just as He did for me yesterday. A girl with a broken, messed up scooter that needed to be fixed. The fixing had a serious cost. The cost was weighty, expensive and known. Yet a mechanic comes along- fixes it all and says “I’m bearing this cost”. I charge you nothing. The debt is cleared. Be fixed. Drive away. And so may we accept this sweet, unimaginable gift daily friends. And may we live “fixed”, “new”, and “drive away” in this coming year. IT HAS BEEN OVER A YEAR OF THIS THING!?!?!
Wow. God is good. So good. Writing this blog has been such a sweet journey. Connecting with people spiritually is what we are created for friends. Whether it’s been a text or a conversation a month later, it’s been pretty mind boggling to watch the Lord at work, intricately using my life and others to bring Him the ultimate glory. Our Father connects His people. And that is something I can’t stop smiling about. It also ties together my thoughts on the past FOUR months (I know I’m LATE with this thing). Quick life update (as if you couldn’t tell per social media/the endless pics I’m tagged in @my roomies)- I was back in Gainesville (ROUND 3)-same apartment, same roommates, same crazy busy fun that college brings about. Went on a life long dream of a college road trip (#daleDallas) to watch our beloved gators, did way too much physics homework, survived a hurricane with a bajillion people in our apartment, spent my Saturdays hanging out with football recruits, and just had a lot of FUN. But in the seemingly “same” the Father has revealed himself to me so anew. Because he gives us our daily bread; renewing and redeeming us daily. And in this I have become SO overwhelmed with the richness that is the Church (as in 1 Corinthians 12:27 church- Christ’s people). Here’s a quote from Weight of Glory, a C.S Lewis book I read through this semester. Just a heads up- this book has permanently altered/questioned so many of my viewpoints in the best possible way and this one might just be the most impactful yet ( 100% put it on the To Read list). “Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbour he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat—the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden.” I have reread and reread this quote. And it WRECKS me. Because it just makes sense. Words I never could have myself but speak my heart so accurately. Our brothers and sisters. They reflect our Savior. They have been created anew. The Spirit lives in them. And fruits grow out of this. Praises overflow. Truth is spoken. We are able to be pointed to the cross. Pointed to Jesus. I FEEL the weight of this. Of God’s people doing their thing. And so richly this semester. I am so FOR my brothers and sisters. And I truly do learn more and more about Jesus through them. Whether it’s watching them thrive in using their talents and gifts or being on the receiving end of some dang good truth-Jesus is made known. And it’s all about Jesus friends. And my heart overflows in thankfulness for our Father who has given me people who’s lives reflect this. It’s a sweet journey this life- and it’s made sweeter with people who remind you of your identity. Remind you where your true home is. Remind you to keep those eyes upward- on eternal things. So thank you Church. Thank you for being the hands and feet of Jesus. So literally. For the “I’m praying” texts before an exam, for the coffee date life catch ups, for the bible studies, for the accountability, the deep questions, the shared meals, the laughs, the tears, the worship, and the reminders. The reminders of our Holy God. The glorifier, the glorified- and Glory Himself. It’s July baby. Shout out to the Fourth because it’s up there with my favorite holidays. Beach, cookouts, red, white and blue and FIREWORKS- that’s a heck of a celebration. My summer thus far has been so much more than I could have hoped or expected. Hence the title. In my complete faithlessness HE has been oh so sweetly faithful to me. From creating for me a renewed community here at home, providing me a full time job, bringing friends to visit often, to a Bible study that reminds me of the Acts church- I have experienced His love in such a new way this summer. As Fall semester seems far away but also seemingly approaching, it is crazy to reflect on June/July and to get hyped for Gville round three. Here’s a blog that took me forever to get words for but one that I am so stoked to share.
When it comes to the big guy upstairs He is ALL about crushing our expectations- in the best kind of way. You know why? Because if we make a list of our best- be it qualities or favorite things- they don’t even come close to making His. We are not A-listers. I think this idea is pretty common within Christian culture. Common to the point where it loses its weightiness. I know I’m guilty of that. But then a dear friend of mine shared this verse with me and it shook me. Most definitely awaking me from my slumber. So get ready because I think this verse in Habakkuk brings ultimate HOPE. My reaction was one of a sweet, pure, JOY in our loving Father. Here it goes: “Look at the nations and watch-- and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.” - Habakkuk 1:5 Can I get an AMEN?!? Wowza. Let’s break this down real quick. The verse starts as a command. A command to look. To watch nations. To cast our eyes upwards and see what the Lord is doing. To eagerly gaze upon His creation. Followed quickly by “and be amazed”. And not just amazed, but UTTERLY amazed. Utterly here meaning “to the full extent, fully, perfectly, totally.” So as we look, our reaction is “in awe”. So by using our very eyes and casting them upon our Father’s works we can worship our God. How insane. We are creatures of worship through and through. We are designed for this. This is only the first half of the verse and my socks are already rocked off. Because the sunsets I just sit and marvel at or the sweet little boys I get to babysit every Monday that just make me laugh at how pure their love for things like monster trucks or pool time- those moments- I get to look and watch. And be amazed. Because our Father is a creator and designed these things to reflect him. It’s the small things I watch sometimes where I feel closest to our big God. But here comes the second half. If the first half of the verse was applied to the small moments- shoot. This second half changes the game. This is some dream casting, vision seeking- future talk. We are to be amazed BECAUSE our God promises things in our days. Say what?! I mean if it ended there I’d be pretty content. But as vague as “something” may seem it’s a “something” that is followed with the “if I told you, yea there’s no chance you’d believe me.” Rewind. Yea, this verse hit us with the “I am a big God. I am powerful. I am in control. And I am at work.” And praise Jesus. Because this twenty-year old struggles with those truths daily. How often do I approach the Lord as if he were merely a man. Capable of only human extent. How often do I question His power. How often do I take control, want control, strive for control, crave control. How often am I at work. Doing this and that. Work, work, work. And more than all of the above how often am I thinking “God could you just let me in on your plans for me. I think I could be in control a little bit. Like 75/25. You can have most of the control. But I think I deserve a little bit. I read my Bible. I have some good thoughts for my life. Not my whole life maybe but at least up until I’m married with kids and have that dream job.” Seems humorous after reading this verse in Habakkuk. Because our Father’s life plans for us and the nations are SO beyond us that our only response to them if we knew would be disbelief. So what is our response instead to the unexpected? To look in awe. To stand daily in worship to our loving God who intricately and oh so carefully has every detail in total control. And to trust him. To remember in the monotonous days of work and the sweet days full of all your favorite things that HE is so much bigger. This verse-it’s a promise. A declaration. Assurance. It is to be trusted, clung to and put hope in. Praise God that He is one who keeps His promises. Over and over and over again. It is a promise that we can FULLY expect the unexpected. Because if we knew- we surely could not even believe it. And that my friends I pray gives you hope. Hope in a promise that is applicable in all life seasons. That we may eagerly put our faith in Him. With praises overflowing in the fact He is and we are not. SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMMER SUMMER! I can’t get over it. It’s been a week now and I still feel like I am on repeat in the ever classic High School Musical “school’s out” scene. A week back in the 772 and I am just struck with the reminder of how much I really do adore my home. My family that makes it a home. But also just where I live. Its absolutely beautiful. Some dear, surely lifelong friends came to visit (yes, we couldn’t last a week without one another) and I think the whole “showing off” your hometown thing really set the tone of appreciation and praise to my good Father who is a creator. Who created things that just make me smile, speechless. Like the sun, and the ocean, and being on the boat, and the sunset. All the classic Florida things that just scream his majesty. Man. Beyond the just summer excitement cloud I have been floating on, there has been so much reflection. I’m a nostalgic person. So the end of an incredible spring semester, a new summer season ahead, and the wide, scary future of adulthood nearing closer with each passing year, all mesh into a lot of processing and emotions the past few weeks. So there is A LOT I could write about for this blog. BUT something that has just been so pressing throughout my spiritual growth in college and magnified so much in this last season is the POWER of community. Christian community is a small taste of heaven; to have brothers and sisters who are seeking Christ alongside you. The body of Christ to function within the confines of their specialized, unique parts, all unified by Christ as the head. Wow. With just finishing up a toughy class of human anatomy, to say I’m beyond impressed by the functioning and detail of our body is an understatement. It is a miracle. And in the same comparison Paul uses to describe the church, the body of Christ in its purest form is a miracle. It’s amazing. Detailed. Specialized. And alive. And more than ever can I testify time, after time, how I have experienced the LIFE of the body in this season.
“12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body. 21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. 27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28 And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? 31 Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.” 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 I most definitely could write pages about this passage- but on this cloudless, putting the sun in Sunday morning, I am STOKED. STOKED for the body and what is ahead this summer for the members of community I am surrounded with from Gainesville. Because church for me this morning meant putting together a world map filled will support letters, names, pictures and push pins. I have brothers and sisters around the world this summer. And there aren’t enough words for how excited that makes me. Who am I to be able to live life with those walking in the call of “Go and make disciples of ALL nations” (Matt. 28:19)?!? And this is in no way to say that my summer ahead in little ole Fort Pierce, Florida is not fulfilling that call. Because it more than is and that’s a blog for another time because you can best bet if you know me at all this was not Jessica Wright’s plan for her four-month summer. Was it the Lord’s? 110 %. So what’s the point? Well one, to let my world traveling friends know that my part in the international mission’s body this summer is to give and pray. And to publicly, boldly, and excitedly claim that. I am with ya’ll in prayer this summer- use me. And what an honor that is. Am I good at praying? Nope. But the sweet Spirit has so clearly told me that my summer will be one of learning how to pray in petition of others. To cover the church with truth. To take part in the Lord’s plans without having to be the literal hands and feet. It is a journey I am so excited about. Secondly, to thank you guys. For encouraging me and being the truest examples of living out your faith in the form of missions. Fundraising is hard. Going to new places is scary. Dealing with logistics and parents can be difficult. Sacrificing your plans for HIS plans- that takes faith. A strong, bold kind of faith. It’s incredible and may Satan not tell you otherwise. Thirdly, for the body who is still in Gainesville, went home (ME ME ME) or all the in between crazy cool summer plans ahead- this is for you to. Boundaries of countries in no way deems being sent. We are all sent this summer. We are all “to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:8) How cool. Lastly, to challenge us as the body. To be invested in our church. To ask the Lord what our summer calling is. To listen. And to go. To be in the Word. To let truth flow in, so the enemy has no grip. To utilize what some may deem the off season as one for rigorous spiritual training. So as summer has so truly begun with palm trees, the inter- Wright sister tan competition, Rita’s /movie nights, and lots of beach for this truly Florida girl- I am expectant and “eagerly desiring greater gifts” (1 Cor. 12:31). Expectant of my mighty God to move mountains in the ALIVE body this summer- internationally and right at home. Because it is a summer to be SENT. Marching on through 2017 (sorry I couldn’t help it-check out my insta for a complete view of my love for puns). But REALLY MARCH ALREADY?!?!?! Goodness me oh my, time just zips away. Anyways- man. The past month I think can best be described as riding 10 roller coasters at once. And in that being at lows and highs and loops in different places. As it sounds, it has been pretty chaotic. My performance self has gone into overdrive. It has been hard. Thrilling, yes. Exciting, yes. But also overwhelming. And in that my armor got pretty weak. Small lies from the enemy began to build up. Insecurities that don’t normally surface began to. But a few days ago in the sweetest of ways- I lost it. My buried emotions quickly unsurfaced and I just bawled (in the middle of rush hour students going to class madness of course). Because the past month has been a competition of self performance. And I’ve put my worth in my abilities, independency and people pleasing. And not once was it live giving or fulfilling. And after weeks of the deception of being “full” it became overwhelmingly obvious how empty I truly felt. I was defining, so selfishly, who I was completely based off results. Results of new Cicerone opportunities, results of tests (school has been HARD this semester- often with hours of studying with very lousy grades in return), results of friendships and relationships, results of my future, results of summer plans. Anything this performer could get her hands on. And goodness it has been tireless. And yes, I have sought the Lord this past month. I have had precious morning quiet times. Friends have loved me so selflessly and blessed me with so much truth from the Word. But still so, I let the enemy have a grip with whispering thoughts claiming identity over me. Identity in things that are so fleeting. Identity in things that weren’t Jesus. And I began to believe it. So easily distracted from hope in the gospel, the small whispers became thundering. And last Friday, it all boiled over. Leaving me feeling pretty worthless. Which put me in an ugly cycle of then being so frustrated with how, of all people in this planet could I, a child of the God, be anything but FULL OF WORTH AS A DAUGHTER. Crazy, how the enemy can bury foundational truth so swiftly. But, here I am, almost a week later so eager to encourage! Encourage you friends with truth that can strengthen your armor. Truth that defeats ALL lies. Because last Friday, when I was wrecked with overwhelming sin- Jesus scooped me up. Because his grace is never-ending. He comforts. He listens. He loves deeper than anything we could ever imagine. Here is a verse that has ministered so deeply to me this past week:
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 When our hope lies in our perfect Father then are we filled. Filled with joy and peace, to the point of overflow. I crave that. To be able to rush around from thing to thing and confidently claim “Jesus, my hope is in you. Not in school, not in my next hour of plans, not in my friendships, not in my family.” And I have noticed as the Spirit reminds me of this verse, my armor is being restored, the lies have quieted, and I am filled with a peace and joy that is not circumstantial, but supernatural. 2017. Rushing by already, as I find myself writing my first blog of the year and it’s the 18th of the month of February. Dang time, slow down. What a year it has been for me already. This semester has easily been the busiest yet- which seems insane because Jessica Wright is never not busy. Amidst all the things, I’ve seen the Lord work in my life in such specific ways. The Father has been so patient with me as I try and navigate the new experiences this Spring has given me- failing so often, but nevertheless being looked upon with relentless love and offered grace evermore. I’m pretty sure I could write a book about all the things I am learning and feeling and experiencing just within this past week, let alone month and a half. Life is most literally FULL- in all aspects of the word. I am in a season of learning. For me, learning is oh so refreshing and exciting and expectant. But it is also hard, and tiring, and overwhelming. But Jesus is teaching me how to learn- guiding me through it. So here’s a theme, you could say, of what all I am learning. I was meeting with a sweet, dear friend of mine Julia and she asked a question that got me thinking. She said “Jessica- in all your craziness how are you viewing the Lord- what characteristic is He teaching you about himself right now?” Good one right? And God being funny like He is just whispered a word that had been showing up over and over again recently between church sermons and quiet times. Cornerstone. This season of life I am learning to be fully reliant on Christ as my cornerstone. Because I can’t get through my days without remembering this truth. I explained to her this “Ju- right now feels like a lot of stuff- works and things that fill my days. And don’t get me wrong- I love the things- but it seems easier than ever to get distracted, overwhelmed, stressed and to believe all the lies. But amidst all the stuff the Holy Spirit has just been that small voice reminding me whose I am and where my foundation lies.” Clinging to this verse in Isaiah 28:16: “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who relies on it will never be stricken with panic”. Wow. To explain it further, I feel as if the events/time/stuff are all "bricks". And seemingly with a snap of the wrist I added on like 100 "bricks" to the building. And I’m at the top of those bricks and it’s a little shaky. At times scary. Other times exciting and enjoyable. A pretty good view. BUT at the top of the “bricks” its easy to forget the foundation that’s seemingly far away. And that’s where the Lord has been teaching me. That my hope does not lie in the “bricks”. Whether the “bricks” are really great and just keep adding on, or whether they are all crumbling beneath me-my hope must lie in the foundation. Because HE is the one holding all the bricks. Using them for His purpose. He is the one that began the works-laying them ahead of me. He is the one that can support the entirety of the building that’s being created. Ephesians 2:20-22: “built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.” That’s it. That verse is word for word what the Father is teaching me. He is building me. He is my foundation. He is making me His holy temple. And for that nothing but praises can leave these lips. It’s Christmas Eve Eve and I am just now writing my beginning of the month blog. I would love to say it was because finals were stressful, or I went to New York City on vacation, or Christmas shopping and spending time with family has taken up every second of my day for the entire past three weeks. Or even a simple “I forgot I wrote a blog”. But in fact none of those things were true. I haven’t written, not because I forgot about the blog, but I seemed to have forgotten about my Father. Not that he wasn’t there, but forgot that his character remains true, constant and ever faithful. I just couldn’t really see much that I had learned or ways I had experienced him. Nothing seemingly “worthy” of a blog post. (such small, putting God in a box thinking- but oh so honest)
Because when I started this monthly blog I deemed it to be a reflection every month on the Lord’s faithfulness in teaching and growing me in my faith. A way of debriefing and praising my loving Savior. An outlet to show just one of the many ways I had experienced him in the last thirty days of my journey. And this month- I seemed to forget. I couldn’t see what I was learning or what the Lord was doing. Forgetting that finals week was graced with a peace ONLY from the Lord. Forgetting that my family loves me endlessly and loves Jesus even more. Forgetting when the Lord answered a prayer I so deeply prayed for. Forgetting that I have such a deeply rooted community in a place I have only lived for a year. The list goes on and on. Something about humans in our sinfulness that seems to give us short term memory loss in regards to our faith journey. But what a reminder the Bible brought me today. The Word has story after story about God’s people being forgetful. Regarding forgetfulness, Psalm 78 resonated so deeply with me. Talking about the Lord and the Israelites, Asaph wrote: “He remembered that they were but flesh, a passing breeze that does not return. How often they rebelled against him in the wilderness and grieved him in the wasteland! Again and again they put God to the test; they vexed the Holy One of Israel. They did not remember his power-- the day he redeemed them from the oppressor, the day he displayed his signs in Egypt, his wonders in the region of Zoan.” –Psalm 78:39-43 Wow, wow, wow. I could be an Israelite. I just kept rereading this part of the Psalms as a list of all the “Egypts” the Lord brought me from in just this month seemed to replay in my head. The Lord saving them from their enemies time after time, and yet “they did not remember his power.” Has that not been me this December? So distracted, so prideful, so unfocused. But how could I just forget? Remembering is hard. There is an enemy out there working tirelessly to throw things our way just to make sure we forget. But good thing we have an all-knowing Father above that loves us and is fighting for us. A father that knows we forget and gave us the Holy Spirit to help us remember. John 14:26 tells us “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” Our sin causes a problem; our Perfect Abba Father gives us the answer. So friends, in knowing our forgetfulness may we be more attuned to the Holy Spirit as he reminds us. As he reminds us of the Lord’s steady character. As he reminds us of the cross and the grace given to us. A gift Christ showers on us anew daily whether we remember or not. May the Spirit remind us as the “most wonderful time of the year” continues, to look upon the manger and remember. Remember the humility of Christ our King coming to earth to take our sin and shame away so we may spend eternity in heaven. What a story worth remembering. What a story worth living by. Jesus, remind me. Remind your people. May we all be able to sing this praise this December: “I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.” Psalm 77:11-12 Come on. I know that title just threw you back to those early Toby Mac fandom days. And honestly, the last few weeks I’ve caught myself singing those very lyrics. Humming “Ooh ah, ooh ah, oooh”. Because dang this life is rich and there is so much to be celebrated. From dear friends entering into engagement, to a wedding soon approaching, to reuniting and reconnecting with sweet summer Tennessee friendships. From experiencing the beauty of God’s creation (beach in Jax to autumn woods of Georgia/ still age old most difficult question of which is preferred), to watching the kingdom be furthered and the gospel spread on my lovely UF campus, to delving into deep, life giving spiritual conversations. As we enter into the “month of thankfulness” I can’t not but smile at the fullness my heart feels. Praise seems to spill from my lips. It’s pretty easy when everything just seems to add up, go with the flow, go above and beyond, 3..2..1.. blast off, grooving and moving, ball is rolling, life is good t-shirt on. And yes I do believe God wants me singing to him from the mountains when I’m overlooking their vast beauty- that on top of the world high. But I also believe He wants me singing to him from the pit of the valley when I’m stuck, broken, and in despair. When the oooh ahhs seem to be the last thing my lips want to proclaim. And I think the key word for me here is singing. He wants me singing to him, not silent. I like to fix things. I like for things to look nice/ be put together. I like to understand. Add these ingredients up and put me in a difficult circumstance-you get a hugely sinful version of me. Because in the valleys- the hard circumstances- the ones where tragedies happen, injustices are rampant and sin seems overpowering- I, Jessica Wright attempt to take the role of God. And what a pathetic idea, let alone action. And if that’s not enough, once I feel like its been fixed, I understand and it looks better, I then feel it ok to pridefully open my mouth and say “Hey God, look at this. Look at this journey I took myself on. Want to enter in the outcome/solution with me? I did the hard part for you.” And friends do we see the error. That the “I” is coming before the “God”. That in the times where we need a Savior, Warrior, Lord, Father the most that if we are not willing to bring him the full range scale of emotions, the vulnerability, and questions that nothing actually gets fixed? But thank goodness for The Word and all it has to teach us. The Psalms overflow with David’s emotions. David isn’t silent when circumstances are hard and dark and sinful. Psalms 40 is a perfect example. David is running from enemies who want to kill him. But David points his eyes upward and doesn’t stop communication with the Father. “Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord; may your love and faithfulness always protect me. For troubles without number surround me” The chapter continues with raw thoughts and feelings, but ends with a proclamation of truth-of the Lords unchanging, constant character. His goodness and abounding love. “You are my help and my deliverer; you are my God, do not delay.” My prayer for this month is that the circumstances we are in wouldn’t be a proclamation of who we think our Father is. Because my God is not boxed into what my earthly eyes can or can’t see. Be it a season of blessings or one of trials may we count them all as Christ’s and ask him to enter in with us. That our lips wouldn’t become silent when we don’t understand, but instead praise the one who understands all. That we would be loud in our singing whether it be from the valley or on the mountain. That our lips would sing “ooh and ah” daily because on the cross he took the payment for our sins, defeated the grave, and offers us eternity with him. It has been far over a month now back in the beloved Ville and I’m quickly caught up in the ever hectic college routine of classes, coffee dates, homework, game nights, more homework, volunteering and all the busyness in between. I love it- being busy seems to fuel me. This fall semester I’m once again realizing that college life is Jessica Wright’s environment to thrive- lots of people, things to do, new experiences, learning and opportunity for fun at every hour (all 24 of them honestly- no time wasted- super efficient- yea talk about my five loves.) In the craziness, the Lord’s presence has floored me- teaching me so much, rocking my world and leaving me in awe daily. I am oh so thankful for this sweet season. But here’s the big BUT. BUT the more the Lord leads me into understanding his glorious characteristics, the more I become aware of the sinful nature in myself and on this earth. And in this learning I have come to this diagnosis: I am blind. Oh so blind. I am blind to to the spiritual realm at work. I am blind to eternal matters. Blind to others’ suffering. Blind to my own faults. I am short-sighted, have blurred vision, and suck at depth perception. Without Christ at my center, I am flailing around aimlessly on what can seem like a pretty dark journey. Reading in Psalms 40, I couldn’t relate more to David’s cry: “For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot SEE. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me. Be pleased to save me, Lord; come quickly, Lord, to help me.” Boy oh boy. I cannot see. Come quickly. Lord help me. But that’s not where it ends. That’s where the Light of the world, the Healer to the blind, and the Perfector of our faith steps in. That’s the part where I was saved by grace through faith. That’s the part where Christ comes crashing, oh so beautifully, into the picture. David proclaiming at the end of this Psalms: “But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, “The Lord is great!” Ultimately, The Lord saves from blindness. Jesus has a pretty solid track record with blind people. Countless times in the New Testament we see where he miraculously and ever so lovingly healed the blind; opening their eyes and giving them sight. Not leaving them stuck in their disease, but instead claiming life over them, healing them, and having them walk into the hope he brings. Mark 10:46-52 depicts a perfect example of this. The blind man cries out to Jesus multiple times, even after being rebuked by Mary and other disciples. Because after all, who so lowly as a helpless blind man dare try and get the attention of Jesus? Right? Hardly. Jesus hears him. HUGE. Then Jesus asks him what the man desired. HUGE again. The man responded, asking for sight to be restored. And then the line that knocks me over every time, “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.” Friends, can we even begin to comprehend how this is a presentation of the gospel, pre “the gospel”? The man knew he was blind. It was binding and had enslaved him. His life was consumed by his blindness. But he cried out to the Healer. And the Healer responded and healed. And then DIDN’T LEAVE HIM THERE, BUT RATHER WALKED BESIDE HIM. And it was all bound by faith. Wow, wow, wow. And that is just it. I’m blind and I daily need healing. Daily needing to understand the gospel. I need these blind eyes opened, and the invitation to walk into faith with my savior. Because ya’ll the lenses I so often choose to look through are ones that cause blindness rather than aid or fix it. They are lenses that show me just a snipett of understanding rather than the God view of time. Lenses that are distracting and not clear, often dirty and tainted instead. The lenses with which I look through without choosing Christ are such earthly, short lived ones. But, with Christ, and when I am seeking him,asking him, and having faith in him is when things change. Is when I hear him say, “Hey Jessica, I am listening. I hear your blind cries in need of healing. I desire to open them”. And he begins to pull back the sin filled lenses of through which I look, and begins replacing them with his eternal ones. Taking the earthly (what I have to give=sin) and turning it eternal(what he has to give=grace) as only he can. New lenses that aren’t fixed on the circumstantial, but rather on the glory of our Maker. The lenses that seek him, direct me upwards and are cleansed through the work of the cross. My prayer is that in this season, and in all those ahead, that my blindness wouldn’t consume me. In the stuff, be it school, or friends, or relationships, or jobs etc. that I would be reminded of my blindness. And that it would bring me to my knees, in complete praise that I am healed and that my eyes continue to be opened; that I was “blind but now I see”. Because surely that is my only response to the absolute beauty of the fact that the Creator of the world loves me enough to reveal eternal things to these blind eyes. |
AuthorI LOVE JESUS, GRACE, PEOPLE, PUNS, TRAVEL, ADVENTURE AND THE FLORIDA GATAS Archives
October 2016
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