Cliche but oh so true. Time flies. And as the first of my younger sisters heads to an out of state college tomorrow I’m emotional. Understandable right? I’m old- she’s old, North Carolina is far, I’m losing any last piece of control I had (thought I had) over her, the future is scary-all the usual thoughts that come with the typical “growing up is real”/“I’m sentimental and love childhood” thinking. But beyond that I’m also reminded of myself a year ago. The classic extroverted, overzealous, super excited, “lets change the world” college freshman I was. On the outside that was. Internally however, completely different story. Instead I was the classic scared, nervous, doubtful, searching, lonely, and very intimidated college freshman.
Why? Many reasons (A class with 300 people? No curfew? A tiny dorm room with community bathrooms?) but the overbearing one being I was hopelessly searching for an identity I no longer knew. I no longer knew how to introduce myself. I no longer knew what my hobbies were. Where my favorite hangouts were. How to explain to people who I was. It was all new. Only three and a half hours away and it was all stinkin’ new. I wasn’t a Wright sister. I wasn’t a swimmer. I wasn’t a Fort Pierce native, IB student, or student leader at church. “Hi my name is Jessica and…” And that’s where I would pause and stumble, picking my brain for an acceptable answer. A freshman? A health science major? A used to be swimmer? Nothing seemed to quite fit. And that’s where the whole “nugget of gold”, “rock your socks off”, “whoop there it is” journey of truth began. Because in those weeks of freshman fall of wondering “who am I” I was lovingly, graciously answered by the the One who calls himself I am. “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellency of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2:9 It was in those weeks of frantically looking for clubs, activities, friends, and community that I was hit in the face with truth. The truth of the one who died on the cross for my sin, rose again three days later and promises to one day return has claimed me as his. My identity belongs in Jesus Christ. And in him alone. I am a daughter of the most high. I am redeemed, saved, loved, cherished, known, and beloved. I am Christ’s. And it wasn’t until those months where my earthly identities were stripped that I could find that one “connecting piece” of the Jessica pre-college and the Jessica at college. That connector being Jesus. My rock, my hope, my redeemer. And as I began to fall in love with college life and all that it had to offer, I continued to dig deeper into knowing at my core who I was. Who it was that defined me. “To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24 And as step into my second year of school, as the forgetful sinner I am, I once again must be reminded of identity. That although I now may have identifiers relative to college that those are earthly things. And earthly things are quickly fleeting. But the one identifier that I must cling to, run towards, and hold on to dearly, is the eternal identity I’ve been given. The daughtership I have. It is when I can claim Christ that I claim victory. And what peace comes with knowing in my broken sinfulness that I can boldly say “Hi my name is Jessica and I am a daughter of the most high.
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AuthorI LOVE JESUS, GRACE, PEOPLE, PUNS, TRAVEL, ADVENTURE AND THE FLORIDA GATAS Archives
October 2016
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