Have you ever been given something super special or important? Not only is it given to you, but it also has been entrusted to you; it is on a whole other level than birthday gifts. You’re given the privilege, responsibility and honor of the item, piece of information- whatever nugget of importance it may be. It’s a big deal, and often begins with lots of exciting, over eager emotions paired with super cautious, well planned actions. Almost so carefully easing yourself into the said “entrustment” as if any second, you know you will somehow make a mistake. Examples that come to my mind are things like the first time in elementary school when you have a chance to be on TV production crew or take the attendance to the office- yenno those big deal responsibilities that make you feel like the coolest eight-year-old ever. Past that, those huge secrets in middle school that were pretty much life or death, but somehow, you had been trusted with the stitch. And then the more realistic entrustments in high school like driving your Dad’s way too nice car for the first time at sixteen, or be given the line you never thought you’d hear senior year: “I trust you to come back home at a decent hour-have fun- I’m going to bed”. Yea- all those life moments are pretty huge.
But it’s funny how quick the cautiousness turns to carelessness. The excitement turns to dullness. The eagerness turns to disinterest. How quickly the “big deal”, “once in a lifetime” responsibilities becomes the mundane. How willing you are to push boundaries, skip over the details, become passive, uncommitted and sit in the normalcy of entrustments that quickly become little more than average. And how clear it is that this is the exact same for how I so often approach sharing the gospel- by far the greatest entrustment I have ever received. "On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel." -1 Thessalonians 2:4 Reading in Matthew 25 (the parable of the bags of gold) I experienced the whole “oh dang that is so me” moment that seems to happen so often when reading absolute truth. I saw myself so obviously in this story Jesus used to teach his disciples. In an overview (definitely give it a read) a man ENTRUSTED (there it is folks-straight from the Holy Book) his servants with bags of gold. He left on a journey and two of the servants were immediately proactive. While he was gone, they worked with what they had and doubled their amounts. The third servant however did nothing but bury his treasure. After a time, the master returned from his journey and settled his accounts with the servants. He praised the first two servants, calling them “good and faithful,” and promising them more in the future. However, when he met the third servant, he called him “lazy and wicked” and “threw him into the darkness”. And friends, I am the third servant. I have been given a life changing, eternal gift of personally knowing Jesus, and instead of living life boldly with that entrustment I so quickly hide it- in the safety and easiness of keeping it my own. The third servant in his justification even saying, “So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.” And I am afraid. I have hidden. I am hiding. I’ve taken the gospel, put it in a jar and buried it out back. Saying “Lord, here it is- see I have it- but I’m leaving it there. It’s safe- no risk. But also I’m ready for more. So yea, whenever you want to give me more buried treasure I can handle it- it’s been safe back there for a while now.” But choosing the gospel isn’t safe, isn’t easy or risk free- it’s in fact the exact opposite. The passage in Matthew is clear- when the master talks to the faithful servants he says “You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!”. And it all makes sense. Until I am able to move where I’m seated, grow where I’m planted, and open my eyes where I’m oh so blind is when I will be able to write myself in as one of the first servants. It is then when my gold will multiply. When I begin to put to use the treasure I so undeservingly have been given. It’s way overdue for me to take my buried treasure out of the ground and start investing with it. When I can do well at being entrusted with the attendance can I move on to the car. Because, after all, my elementary school self was in no way ready or capable of driving my parent’s fancy whip. We weren’t called to hide our treasure but rather to boldly share and use it. We won’t be given ten bags if our one is buried out back. Lord, take my one bag and make it two. Multiply the treasure- because clearly, I’m no pro at handling gold.
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Cliche but oh so true. Time flies. And as the first of my younger sisters heads to an out of state college tomorrow I’m emotional. Understandable right? I’m old- she’s old, North Carolina is far, I’m losing any last piece of control I had (thought I had) over her, the future is scary-all the usual thoughts that come with the typical “growing up is real”/“I’m sentimental and love childhood” thinking. But beyond that I’m also reminded of myself a year ago. The classic extroverted, overzealous, super excited, “lets change the world” college freshman I was. On the outside that was. Internally however, completely different story. Instead I was the classic scared, nervous, doubtful, searching, lonely, and very intimidated college freshman.
Why? Many reasons (A class with 300 people? No curfew? A tiny dorm room with community bathrooms?) but the overbearing one being I was hopelessly searching for an identity I no longer knew. I no longer knew how to introduce myself. I no longer knew what my hobbies were. Where my favorite hangouts were. How to explain to people who I was. It was all new. Only three and a half hours away and it was all stinkin’ new. I wasn’t a Wright sister. I wasn’t a swimmer. I wasn’t a Fort Pierce native, IB student, or student leader at church. “Hi my name is Jessica and…” And that’s where I would pause and stumble, picking my brain for an acceptable answer. A freshman? A health science major? A used to be swimmer? Nothing seemed to quite fit. And that’s where the whole “nugget of gold”, “rock your socks off”, “whoop there it is” journey of truth began. Because in those weeks of freshman fall of wondering “who am I” I was lovingly, graciously answered by the the One who calls himself I am. “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellency of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2:9 It was in those weeks of frantically looking for clubs, activities, friends, and community that I was hit in the face with truth. The truth of the one who died on the cross for my sin, rose again three days later and promises to one day return has claimed me as his. My identity belongs in Jesus Christ. And in him alone. I am a daughter of the most high. I am redeemed, saved, loved, cherished, known, and beloved. I am Christ’s. And it wasn’t until those months where my earthly identities were stripped that I could find that one “connecting piece” of the Jessica pre-college and the Jessica at college. That connector being Jesus. My rock, my hope, my redeemer. And as I began to fall in love with college life and all that it had to offer, I continued to dig deeper into knowing at my core who I was. Who it was that defined me. “To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24 And as step into my second year of school, as the forgetful sinner I am, I once again must be reminded of identity. That although I now may have identifiers relative to college that those are earthly things. And earthly things are quickly fleeting. But the one identifier that I must cling to, run towards, and hold on to dearly, is the eternal identity I’ve been given. The daughtership I have. It is when I can claim Christ that I claim victory. And what peace comes with knowing in my broken sinfulness that I can boldly say “Hi my name is Jessica and I am a daughter of the most high. |
AuthorI LOVE JESUS, GRACE, PEOPLE, PUNS, TRAVEL, ADVENTURE AND THE FLORIDA GATAS Archives
October 2016
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